Loss and Breakup

Loss and break ups are inevitable, painful intrusions into life. From the break-up of a boy and girl friend, to the death of a friend, to a divorce in the family, to the death of a parent, many children experience the abrupt and painful intrusion of loss at an early age. Such ruptures need to be carefully signposted; the road on which the child is travelling has been torn apart leaving a gaping hole past which they must find a way. For some, the hole appears too big, wide and deep; for others, like a sink hole the underground excavations remain hidden for years to come, only causing a collapse in the road later. Severe loss and break up is never psychologically simple, and always requires careful repair.

Children who are closed, remote or controlling may need additional support to externalise their feelings. Parents should provide opportunities for their children to talk but be aware that udner severe loss, some children will need specialist support to explore and express their emotions.

Children who are attention indifferent or attention avoidant may need help to feel relationships are reliable and trust worthy after a break up. These children will be prone to universalising break up, seeing it as a feature of all future relationships and becoming dismissive and self-reliant as a consequence.

Children who are self-doubting may need help to not inappropriately blame themselves for a signficant and painful break up. They may need support to avoid universalising themselves as a cause of break ups in the future.

  • SEARCH THE TAG CLOUD for articles which deal specifically with LOSS AND BREAK UP issues.
  • The articles on this page support children with patterns of behaviour which are known to¬† be particularly associated with problems of loss and break up.

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