Signposts to lower your child’s seeking change
by Dr Jo Walker
You may be concerned that your child overly seeks out new experiences, opportunities, relationships or challenges. Regulating when to seek change and when to seek stability is critical for a child’s healthy approach to change, taking risks, developing perserverance and sustaining friendships.
Children who develop a fixed bias toward high seeking change can have increased risks: they can exhibit limited perseverance and self-control. They may be prone to fatigue, over stretching themselves. They may become distracted and reach for escapist, deflecting ways to self-sooth.
So how can you signpost your children to lower their seeking change?
Teach your child strategies for minimising distraction
In a fast-paced modern world in which tech has got faster, instant messaging is at our fingertips, more immediate and more saturated with images many children find it difficult to focus and resist distraction.
- Teach your child strategies for minimising distraction when working: turn the TV off, remove their phone, close the door, turn music off – although that can be more easily said than done!
- Give them a set place to work in the home, sitting up at a table, rather than working on their bed or lying around.
- Work alongside them whilst they do their homework, so they can see you concentrating on a task for that length of time.
You can also teach your child effective task management strategies
- Breaking a task into small chunks and support them in setting themselves a small goal or working for several minutes;
- 10 minutes then a break when young, 15 minutes by the age of eight, and 30 minutes by the age of twelve;
- Recognise and affirm them when they show perseverance and concentration by choosing not to distract others or resist distraction.
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30 Nov 2016 - Lowering your child's trust of themself