Signposts to lower your child’s trust of themself
by Dr Jo Walker
You may be concerned that your child has an overly high trust in their own ideas, thoughts, feelings and opinions. A healthy questionning of one self enables children to develop mutual friendships, resilience and good judgement.
Children who develop a fixed bias toward high trust of them self can have increased risks. They can become self-reliant and dismissive of feedback. They may develop a sense of superiority, dominating friendships. They can be complacent and expect others to solve their problems. They may struggle to cope with setbacks when they arise.
So how can you signpost your children to lower their trust in themselves?
Encourage your children to evaluate the advice they have been given so that they make informed decisions.
- For example, ask your child for a piece of advice they have been given from a teacher, peer or friend.
- Aid them in a discussion of why this advice has been given, and what the intentions of the person giving the advice are.
- Take opportunities to model asking for help yourself. This is extremely helpful in demonstrating that being open to advice is a healthy and natural part of learning and growing up.
- Share your own experiences of listening to advice which has then shaped your decisions in a positive way.
Model setting realistic expectations for what your children could aim to achieve in a forthcoming challenge, activity or the coming year.
- For example, if they came low down in an event last year, where could they realistically come next time? You can then talk about steps they would need to take to achieve this.
- Help them reflect on their current ability to detect progress over the next year.
- If they are at a 4 with a skill, what realistically could they be by the end of the year? What would that number look like?
30 Nov 2016 - Increasing your child's trust of themself