Self-Protective and Attention-Avoidant
On her own, Tory was lovely. It was just in her ‘group’ she became difficult. She was part of a group of friends who sensed the whole world was against them. Prickly, defensive, quick to see blame, they were quite intimidating as a pack. You sensed that Tory had fallen in with them because, deep down, she felt afraid on her own. Tory had always been a sensitive child; maybe because of the instability at home she had developed a sixth sense, a way of reading the mood. She was certainly a shrewd judge of character, but that had an edge of suspicion, wariness, weighing up if you were reliable. She never let you forget if you let her down… and you tried so hard not to. But maybe she felt safer hurting others before they hurt her…
Children who develop a fixed bias toward low trust of others along with a low trust of them self, can have increased risks: they can become overly defensive and misread people’s positive intentions. They can be passive aggressive, avoidant and resistant to help. They can mask their fear with bravado and be drawn into hostile groups, becoming more socially isolated whilst blaming others.
The articles on this page will guide parents how to put in place signposts at home so that children developing a bias toward low trust of them self along with low trust of others, can learn to steer more healthily.