Self-Doubting and Attention-Needing
Adam was easily led. You watched as he almost morphed from style to style, group to group, as he went through schooling. It was like his steer came from what the herd were doing; his opinions often mimicked those of the group around him. He was never happier than when he was included, part of the crowd. Of course, that made him vulnerable. The social media likes and dislikes sent him high, or more often really low. The attempts to be popular had got him into trouble; you knew he was used by others and silently worried it might one day end up in him getting hurt. He was such a kind lad, always willing to help, desperate for approval. You so hoped he got in with the right crowd at high school… if he didn’t the risks didn’t bear thinking about.
Children who develop a fixed bias toward high trust of others and low trust of them self, can have increased risks: they can be drawn into dependent relationships and be prone to social mimicry. They can become attention-needing, and because they are self-doubting, will be reliant on the approval of others. If school teachers, this can lead to over-work; if peers, this can lead to social vulnerability.
The articles on this page will guide parents how to put in place signposts at home so that children developing a bias toward low trust of them self along with high trust of others, can learn to steer more healthily.