Self-Assured and Attention-Indifferent Behaviours
Biyu had always been a competitive child. Self-motivated, she had set herself high standards at school. In many ways, you thought, she was like her father. You wondered whether she was trying to live up to his high expectations. He was certainly proud of her, but he rarely told her so. You noticed that, around her friends she was often dismissive and slightly arrogant. She slightly looked down on them and seemed to value success over inclusion. Now she was at high school, she had chosen courses she would succeed in, and had become less and less interested in activities outside her expertise. She seemed to protect herself with her isolation. You wondered whether the wall she was building herself was healthy… or whether she would need to discover who she really was inside when it got cracked by an illness, or a real failure.
Children who develop a fixed bias toward low trust of others along with a high trust of them self, can have increased risks: they can become conditional in their self-regard, dismissive of other’s feedback. They can focus on success at the cost of friendships and dismiss or hide weakness and vulnerability making it hard to help them. They can lack resilience when they face a major setback or failure.
The articles on this page will guide parents how to put in place signposts at home so that children developing a bias toward high trust of them self along with low trust of others, can learn to steer more healthily.