Closed and Remote Behaviours

Amina was one of those girls who never let her public persona slip. There were other girls who had a ‘face’ so to speak; Jazz who was mouthy and obviously insecure; Sacha who was the class clown but who everyone felt was deflecting from her mum’s death last year. But Amina’s face was more subtle, less obvious. She was polite, well mannered and difficult to fault. You sensed that what she gave to you was just a slice, a carefully laid out, presented surface. But there were cracks, tiny glimpses of another self beneath; once you glimpsed an online chat and the people on the other end, well, they were so alien! And where did she bury her sadness when you had to suddenly move last year? Was that why she was starting to explode with her young brother? Was it all pent up? Knock, prise or peak, and the door would be slammed and bolted. Would she do that if she had nothing to hide? Would she do that if she did not feel she had to hide her self?

Children who develop a fixed bias toward low self-disclosing can have increased risks: they can become isolated, remote and closed to help. They may develop unhealthy patterns of thinking hidden behind a public persona. They may limit their academic progress if they avoid dialogue, and can be drawn into healthy online attachments. They can be unexpectedly volatile .

The articles on this page will guide parents how to put in place signposts at home so that children developing a bias toward low self-disclosing can learn to steer more healthily.


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